Lately I’ve been realising the great blessing that I have to be in my current stage of life. I’m at a somewhat unique point in time where I get to be Pastors’ Wife, Ministry Worker and College Student all at the same time!
I really didn’t plan for this and didn’t really see it coming until less than a year ago when the opportunity arose. I had always wanted to do further study but we decided it was wise at that point to help Chris finish college and me continuing to work.
As I’ve said to people, Chris and I don’t have much in common as I’ve mentioned. He likes ‘cold’ food, I like ‘hot’ food. He likes sweets, I like savoury food. He likes team/contact sports, I prefer gymming. We differ on style of clothes…a lot. Just about the only things we have in common are our love for Christ and that we’re both Asian Australian.
I guess one of the great things about this stage of life is that I get to work with my husband in our common passion 🙂 at the same time maybe one of the bad things is that I get to work with my husband in our common passion haha. As I mentioned in one of my last posts, personality wise we are almost completely opposite which might make it hard…
Anyway, how did it come to this? At the end of high school, I wanted to be in the corporate world, get an MBA, marry someone similar. My sister and I joke that we accidentally switched lives (she was thinking she’d end up where I am now).
I thought I might share in a series of posts some thoughts on each of the 3 roles I’m in right now. Today will be about:
Pastors Wife/Ministry Wife
To be honest it hasn’t been in it that long. If we use the term ‘ministry wife’ then I guess I’ve been in it for 5 years since Chris has been an apprentice and in bible college till now.
When the idea of being a Pastors’ Wife first entered my mind this is the impression I had:
- I will have to cook a lot
- I will be poor
- I will be depressed
- I will have to share my husband with the church
- I will be unseen in the background looking after kids all the time
…in other words I will suffer…I was getting a bit freaked out by this picture, when I spoke to a couple of pastors wives at the time who reassured me that even though it might be the case, there are lots of joys as well and at different stages of life, being a pastor’s wife will look REALLY different (no kids, with young kids, teenage kids, mature kids etc). Also what it looks like depends on what gifts you have, not all of them look the same at all. Having said that the above are/will probably be all true at varying levels.
One of the mind shifting experiences during dating was the idea that I was the breadwinner and I was earning more money than Chris. My initial expectation of a boyfriend was that he should be driving me around, he should be paying for our dinners and he should be buying me nice presents. It really confronted my view early, on what the women in the relationship should be expecting and humbled me to see things differently.
Another one was that when we got engaged when Chris was on his ministry apprenticeship, so many women ask straight away to see ‘the ring’. I just remember feeling a little sheepish showing people seeing my rock was not big. Someone called it ‘cute’. Again, confronted what I really value.
In my short time so far, there have been many joys for us:
- Growing in our trust in God
- Seeing God provide in amazing ways
- Feeling the immense support and generosity of the church, close friends and family
- Experiencing the joys of being close to the church family
- The privilege of praying with and coming alongside younger women
I love where I am right now and thank God for it 🙂 Perhaps you’re dating someone now who’s thinking of formal ministry work in future, or currently in their ministry apprenticeship or college! Like anything in life, we expect tough times but we also know there will be joyous times. Hopefully we can encourage each other and pray for each other.